Yateley 1s vs Wargrave 3s: Bolivian Salt Flats

Yateley 1s vs Wargrave 3s: Bolivian Salt Flats

*Disclaimer*: I didn’t take photos of the scorebook so the figures I use are all rough estimates that will more than likely be wildly untrue at times.

I am going to try and paint you a picture of the conditions played yesterday. Close your eyes (obviously don’t Firth or you won’t be able to read this), I want you to picture the flattest surface you possibly could. So smooth and flat that cars just wheel spin in one place. Small dogs can’t grip and all you can hear is their nails scratching, similar to that of when they’re trying to run on wood floor. Make that surface even flatter. If this surface went for miles it would have to follow the curvature of the earth. The Netherlands looks at it and says to The Maldives and Qatar, “Christ, that’s flat”. Geography jokes, I can do it all.

Previously, Salar De Uyuni (The Bolivian Salt Flats for all the uneducated out there) was regarded as the flattest place on earth. This is no longer thought to be true. A batsman’ paradise greeted WCC as they arrived to the home of Yateley CC. Captain Walker took one look at the track, deliberated for roughly 3 tenths of a second and decided to have a bowl. Nice one mate. Wargrave bowlers tried as best they could to get anything going for themselves, but it was to no avail. H. Thomas (1-278) even decided he’d forgo using the track when bowling and just loop up some full tosses. Hard to imagine, but even that didn’t work. WCC fielded with great effort and did well to limit a big hitting Yateley side to a score that could have got wildly out of control. Fielding work was optimised by some quick thinking by F. Lanch (took a 5 for probably) to stop a boundary with some flashy work. Had to shoehorn myself in somehow. Yateley finished on like 260-6 or something, maybe 263? As I’ve said, no scorebook to go off.

The WCC innings took a rough start at H. Singh (1) fell early. £10, thanks for coming. This then brought T. Sohi (78?) and H. Thomas (no one cares) to the crease. They batted well together up to the drinks break, putting on over 100 for the partnership. Sohi being the real star of the show. He batted maturely until he slowly ran out of gas before falling. Well batted young man. There were a few other inputs lower down the order, but the firepower of the Yateley middle order just couldn’t be matched. J. Moss and F. Lanch (both 20 odd) showed glimpses of being their old selves with the bat, but WCC would fall roughly 30 runs short in their chase. A tough loss, but one that players could hold their head up about. Bar the odd complaint by J. Moss about only coming back to play so he could be done at 4.30 every weekend, an enjoyable day was had by all… except H. Thomas’ skin in the sun. Imagine Patrick from SpongeBob and you’re along the right lines.

As I feel this joke has indeed run its course and I’m running out of material…

Man of The Match: Taran Sohi